By now, the haze over Boston should just be settling.
The red and white confetti, which has rendered useless for 86 years, is no doubt swept back up again. The streets may be clean, the fields may be empty, and true, some of the citizens may be sober by now, but Red Sox fans are still mesmerized in New England, my friend, for the curse has finally been broken!
So eat your heart out, Mel Gibson, the sequel to your most captivating movie has been written: “The Passion of the Christ 2: The Curse of the Great Bambino.”
Indeed, if there were ever an athlete to represent the Holy Son in such a movie, without a question it would be the longhaired, goateed, and white-clad Johnny “Jesus” Damon.
Sure, Jesus walked on water.
Two homeruns from Johnny “King of Kings” Damon in the seventh game of the ALCS (against the Yankees, no less!) sent the beloved BoSox to the Series, and his leadoff homer in Game 4 on Wednesday was all they needed to abominate the looming curse of the babe.
Just try and write a script more poignant than that, Mel Gibson, I dare ya!
Sure, Jesus had his 12 disciples. Johnny Damon, however, had Derek Lowe, Curt Schilling and Pedro Martinez. He had Orlando Cabrero, David Ortiz and Jason Varitek. Keith Foulke, Bill Muellar and Trot Nixon.
But then there was the savior himself, the ALCS Most Valuable Player, and the MVP of the World Series. While in the Catholic Church there stands a replica of Jesus Christ hanging from the cross, in New England they have begun to render posters and statues of
Boston’s savior: Manny Ramirez.
After nearly being traded this year, Ramirez relinquished himself by ultimately blowing out the candle on “the curse.”
Though some people say the Cardinals were not an admirable foe, that Boston just manhandled a weaker team. Well, perhaps those people didn’t watch St. Louis rape every team they faced this year and finish with the best record Major League Baseball.
A more dignified opponent, there doesn’t exist!
Not to mention that God, himself, played first base for the Cards. The most angelic player on the field, Albert Pujols personifies baseball, for when he comes to the plate, pitchers shudder, the infield doesn’t know what to do and angels sing from the heavens.
There is no other player as divine as the mighty Pujols.
Yet the Boston Red Sox pulled a Pontius Pilot and shut him down. Not to mention all the other members of the Cardinals, for the mighty, mighty BoSox never lost the lead in their final eight-game winning streak – from coming back in Game 4 against the Yankees all the way through Game 4 of the World Series, the Red Sox kept the lead the entire time!
A more grandiose story has yet to be penned, let alone be turned into a movie. But if Mel Gibson wants to follow up on the greatest story of our time, it is my advice that he makes it the greatest story of ALL time.
Sure, women cried after “The Passion of the Christ.” Children shuddered in their chairs, trying to comprehend the story.
Yet after the 2004 World Series, grown men fell to the floor in hysteria all across the United States and wept. They were awe-struck, amazed, astounded, with lips quivering and legs shaking, they simply wept.
Boston broke the curse, baby.
God Bless the Red Sox.
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